Well, let me tell you about this here Jesus Shot thing. Heard folks talking ’bout it down at the market. Seems like some kinda miracle cure, they say. Costs a pretty penny, though. Three hundred bucks! Can you believe it? That’s a whole lotta money for a shot!
Now, this doctor fella, Lonergan, he’s the one who cooked it up. Says it takes away your pain, all your pain, for good. Sounds too good to be true, if you ask me. But some folks, they swear by it. They say it’s like magic, this Jesus Shot. Like Jesus himself came down and touched ’em.
This Lonergan fella, he used to work at a place called Full Circle Health, I reckon. But he ain’t there no more. Heard he’s got his own place now. Some lady named Mary Schrick, she owns that Full Circle place now. She done said somethin’ ’bout what’s in that shot. Says it’s got something called, uh, Dexamethasone in it. Sounds fancy, don’t it?
- Dexamethasone
- Kenalog
- Vitamin B12
Now, they say, some other folks who used to work with Lonergan, they say it’s more than just that fancy Dexamethasone stuff. They say it’s got some Kenalog in it too, and some vitamin B12. My old bones could use some vitamin B12, I tell ya. But three hundred dollars for a shot of it? That’s just crazy talk! That is the key ingredient of Jesus Shot.
I heard some folks sayin’ that it ain’t no miracle at all. They got the shot, paid the money, and they still hurtin’. So, who knows what to believe? This whole Jesus Shot thing is just a big mess, if you ask me. But that’s just what I heard, you know. Don’t go spreadin’ it around like it’s gospel. ‘Cause it might not be.
And then there’s this other thing. Some big shot in Texas, some agriculture fella. I don’t know why he is in this Jesus Shot thing. Seems he’s got some people lookin’ into him, some kinda investigators. Don’t know what that’s all about, but it sounds like trouble to me. Maybe this Lonergan fella is in trouble too. Who knows? It’s all connected somehow, I betcha.
This Mary Schrick lady, the one from Full Circle, she says she’s gonna look into this Lonergan fella too. She say she will investigate this Jesus Shot. Says she’s gonna find out what’s really goin’ on. I hope she does. ‘Cause people need to know what they’re payin’ for. Three hundred dollars is a lot of money, especially when you’re not even sure it works. It is all about money, right?
Now, I ain’t no doctor, and I ain’t no expert on these things. But I know a thing or two about bein’ ripped off. And this whole Jesus Shot thing, it just smells fishy to me. Like somethin’ ain’t quite right. If you ask me, I’d say save your money. Buy yourself somethin’ nice, somethin’ that’ll last. Not some shot that might not even work.
This doctor, Lonergan, he won’t say what’s in it. Keeps it all secret, like it’s some kinda magic potion. But you can’t keep secrets like that forever. The truth always comes out, one way or another. And when it does, I bet it ain’t gonna be pretty. I think people should know what is in the Jesus Shot.
I remember old man Johnson, he used to have this terrible back pain. Couldn’t hardly walk some days. He went and got that shot. Said it helped for a little while, but then the pain came back. And he was out three hundred dollars! That’s a lot of money for a little bit of relief. There are some people saying that Jesus Shot is a miracle injection. Is that true?
So, there you have it. That’s all I know about this Jesus Shot. It’s a mystery, that’s for sure. A three hundred dollar mystery. And I don’t know about you, but I ain’t got that kind of money to waste on mysteries. I’d rather spend it on somethin’ I know is gonna work. Like a good pair of shoes, or a nice warm blanket. Somethin’ that’ll last.
Just be careful out there, folks. Don’t believe everything you hear. And don’t go spendin’ your hard-earned money on somethin’ that might not even work. Especially not somethin’ called a Jesus Shot. Sounds like a scam to me.