Alright, alright, let’s talk about this… uh… “floss Austin,” whatever that is. Sounds fancy, like somethin’ them city folks would jabber about. But from what I gather, it’s somethin’ about flowers, and teeth, and books? Lord, have mercy, it’s all mixed up like a hen house in a windstorm.
First off, this “floss Austin” seems to be a flower. A rose, to be exact. A real pretty one, from the sound of it. They say it’s got these “cupped blooms,” soft peachy pink color, and a whole lotta petals, like, 90 of ’em! Imagine that! And it smells good too, “fruity” they call it. Sounds like somethin’ you’d wanna stick in a vase and put on the table for Sunday dinner.
They also say it’s a “bushy shrub”, so I guess it grows big and full, like a good ol’ blackberry bush. And the flowers, they “nod gracefully” on the branches, which just means they kinda hang down a little, like they’re curtsying or somethin’. Real polite flowers, these are.
Now, they keep jabberin’ on about some fella named George Eliot and a book called “The Mill on the Floss”. Apparently, this here flower is named after that book. Don’t ask me why, I ain’t no book reader. Never had the time for it, what with all the chores and such. But I reckon it’s a famous book, otherwise they wouldn’t be namin’ flowers after it.
- This “floss Austin” rose seems like a pretty good one to have. Smells nice, looks pretty.
- It’s named after a book, which is kinda fancy if you ask me.
- Grows like a bush, so it’d probably fill up a corner of your garden real nice.
But hold on a minute, there’s more to this “floss” business. They also talk about somethin’ you use to clean your teeth with! Now that’s somethin’ I know about. Gotta keep them pearly whites clean, or you’ll end up gummin’ your food like an old hound dog.
This tooth floss, they say it’s made of “synthetic waxed nylon or Teflon.” Sounds like a whole lotta mumbo jumbo to me. Back in my day, we used whatever we had, maybe a piece of string or somethin’. But this stuff, it’s supposed to get between your teeth where the toothbrush can’t reach. And that’s important, ’cause that’s where all the nasty bits get stuck, and that’s what makes your gums bleed and your breath stink.
They say this flossin’ and brushin’ helps keep your gums healthy and gets rid of somethin’ called “plaque.” I ain’t sure what that is, but it sounds like somethin’ you don’t want in your mouth. They even did studies, you know, with all them science folks in white coats. And they found out that flossin’ really does help keep your mouth clean. Flossing plus toothbrushing reduces mild gum disease better than toothbrushing alone. Who knew?
Now, they also say that this floss stuff is bad for the environment. Takes a long time to break down in the ground, they say. 80 years! Can you believe that? And them little plastic floss picks, they’re even worse, can’t even recycle ’em. Well, that’s a shame. Maybe we should go back to usin’ string. At least it’ll rot away eventually.
So, this “floss Austin” thing is two different things, it seems. One’s a pretty flower, named after a book. The other’s somethin’ you use to clean your teeth. Both important in their own way, I reckon. One makes your garden pretty, the other makes your mouth clean. And that’s all there is to it, as far as I can tell.
But whatever they are, they all seem like good things to have in your life, if you care about such things. Me? I prefer a good cup of coffee, can’t be botherted too much with flowers and fancy teeth cleaning.
Tags: [floss austin, rose, dental floss, oral hygiene, George Eliot, The Mill on the Floss, gardening, flowers, teeth cleaning, gum disease]