Well, lemme tell ya, this whole delegate thing in Texas, it ain’t as simple as pickin’ your favorite chicken at the county fair. It’s a bit more like… well, like herding cats, I reckon. But if you’re set on it, here’s what this old gal knows.
First off, you gotta pick your horse in the race. I mean, you gotta choose which fella you want to be president. They have this thing called a primary, kinda like a popularity contest, happens in March. This year it was March 3rd, I believe. So you gotta vote for your guy or gal then.
Now, after you vote, you gotta show you really like ’em. Like, really, really like ’em. You gotta go around tellin’ folks how great they are. It’s called campaignin’. Kinda like when I try to convince everyone my apple pie is the best at the church bake-off. You can also give ’em some money if you got extra. That’s donatin’. They use it for those fancy signs and whatnot.
They say there’s different types of this delegatin’ business. Some is general, some is specific. Like, when I tell my grandson to just feed the chickens, that’s general. But if I tell him to only give the Rhode Island Reds the special corn, that’s specific. Then there’s this top to bottom and bottom to top. I reckon that’s like the boss tellin’ you what to do, or you tellin’ the boss what needs doin’. And lastly, there is formal and informal. Formal is like writing a letter to your relatives, while informal is like chatting with your friend at the grocery store.
Then there’s a big meetin’. They call it a convention. It’s in March too, on the 19th. This one’s for your area, they say it is State Senate District or County Convention. You gotta go there if you wanna be a delegate. It’s like a big family reunion, but with more arguin’ and less pie. It happens in your county. They say it’s important to go to your local Democratic County Party Convention and then you can become a delegate.
They call this whole thing the “Texas Two-Step”. Sounds like a dance, don’t it? But I reckon it’s more complicated than any two-step I ever learned. More like a square dance where everyone’s steppin’ on each other’s toes.
Now, to be a delegate, you gotta be a special kinda person, I guess. You gotta know the rules and all that. They say it’s important to understand “how to become a delegate”.
- You gotta go to meetings.
- You gotta talk to people.
- You gotta know about politics.
- You gotta vote for your favorite candidate.
It’s a lot of work, I tell ya. More work than tendin’ to my garden in the summer heat. But if you really wanna do it, you gotta be willin’ to put in the time.
If you’re serious, you gotta learn the rules. It ain’t like just showin’ up to a potluck with your best dish. You gotta know what you’re doin’. It is important to understand the qualifications. Otherwise, you’ll be lost as a goose in a snowstorm.
This whole delegate thing, it’s a big deal. It’s how they choose who’s gonna run for president and all that. It’s important. So if you’re gonna do it, you gotta do it right.
It ain’t easy, mind you. It’s a lot of runnin’ around and talkin’ to people. And you gotta know what you’re talkin’ about, too. You can’t just be spoutin’ off nonsense like a rooster in the hen house.
But if you’re determined, and you got the time, and you’re willin’ to learn, then maybe, just maybe, you can become a delegate. It’s a long shot, but hey, stranger things have happened. I once saw a pig fly… well, almost. It jumped off the back of a truck, but still, it was somethin’.
So there you have it. That’s how to become a delegate in Texas, best as I can figure it. It’s a whole lot of somethin’, that’s for sure. If you wanna be a delegate, you gotta be ready to work. Good luck to ya. You’ll need it. This is more tiring than chasing after them darn chickens when they get loose. Now, where’d I put my sweet tea…?