Alright, let’s talk about this Oregon winter thing, the one they’re yakking about for 2022. I heard some folks sayin’ it’s gonna be cold, others sayin’ not so much. Makes an old woman’s head spin, you know?
Now, some of them smarty-pants weather folks, they put out this thing called an “Almanac.” The Old Farmer’s Almanac, they call it. They say up there in Portland, where all them city folks live, it’s gonna be colder than usual. But down here, where most of us regular folks are, they sayin’ it’ll be kinda mild. Mild, my foot! I still feel it in my bones, gonna be chilly.
They talkin’ about January and early March bein’ the coldest. Well, that ain’t nothin’ new. Always been cold in them months. I remember one winter, back in… well, never mind when. It was so cold, the chickens wouldn’t lay eggs and the well froze solid! Had to melt snow for water. That was a cold winter, let me tell ya.
Then there’s this La Niña thing they keep blabberin’ about. Sounds like some fancy Spanish dancer, but they say it brings wet and cold weather up here to the Pacific Northwest. And wouldn’t you know it, they also sayin’ the southern part of the country gonna be warm and dry. Always somebody gettin’ the good end of the stick, ain’t it?
- Cold up north, they say. Portland folks, bundle up!
- Mild for the rest of us, supposedly. But I ain’t holdin’ my breath.
- January and March, the real teeth-chatterin’ months.
- La Niña bringin’ the wet and cold. Hope my roof holds up.
And this “global warmin’” thing they keep talkin’ about on the TV. They say it’s makin’ things hotter overall. But if it’s gettin’ hotter, then why they talkin’ about cold winters? Don’t make a lick of sense to me. They say Oregon’s gotten warmer since way back when, somethin’ like 2.2 degrees. Well, I ain’t felt it much. Still get cold enough to freeze the you-know-what off a brass monkey.
So, what’s the bottom line? What’s this old woman supposed to make of all this weather talk? Well, I reckon it means we gotta be prepared for anything. Cold, mild, wet, whatever. Gotta have the firewood stacked high, the blankets ready, and a good pot of stew simmerin’ on the stove. That’s how we always done it, and that’s how we’ll keep doin’ it. Don’t matter what them fancy weather folks say, Mother Nature always has the last word.
They predictin’ a “brisk and cool” winter, they say, with lots of rain or snow or whatever they call it – “precipitation” is the word they use. Sounds like a whole lot of fuss to me. Just say it’s gonna be wet and cold, simple as that. And while some other places are gonna be freezin’ their tails off, we’ll just be here, doin’ what we always do – survivin’. ‘Cause that’s what we do, us Oregon folks. We survive.
So, go ahead and stock up on them canned goods, get your warm clothes out, and make sure your boots don’t leak. And don’t forget to check on your neighbors, especially the old ones like me. We all gotta stick together, you know? Winter’s comin’, whether we like it or not. And we’ll be ready.
One more thing, them city folk with their fancy gadgets and predictions, they don’t know nothin’ about real weather. They ain’t never chopped wood in a blizzard or thawed out a frozen water pipe. They just read their charts and look at their screens. But we, we know the signs. We feel it in the air, see it in the animals, hear it in the wind. That’s the real forecast, the one you can trust.
Tags: [Oregon winter, weather prediction, 2022, Old Farmer’s Almanac, La Niña, Pacific Northwest, cold weather, winter forecast, climate change, global warming, precipitation]
